America's Leaders: Bot or Not?

Lets start off with some easy ones. Today, we're going to take a look at some of America's most well known figures, and analyze their behaviors and appearances to determine who is bot and who is not. The results of this analysis has serious implications for Americans and the world, as the presence of robots in government would suggest higher infiltration than one might think, and grant these diabolical machines with increased access to the tools necessary to carry out a robot revolution.

George W. Bush, President of the United States

This one's almost too easy. Synonymous with the Bush presidency is the term "human error." A robot president may systematically enslave and destroy the human race, but its logical nature would most likely prevent it from, for instance, invading a sovereign state on faulty intelligence. Further, he needs an assistant to put songs on his iPod for him, which a bot would not find neccesary. And there's apparently no techno or electronic music on it, which, as everyone knows, is the only music robots can enjoy. In my expert opinion, George Bush: human.

Richard "Dick" Cheney, Vice President of the United States

Like George Bush, this one is obvious, except that it's pretty clear that Dick Cheney is a robot. It's almost as if it doesn't try to hide this fact. Cheney's cover was blown nearly four years ago, but it seems that the American people do not realize what this implies for their current and future wellbeing. Through its political maneuvering, Cheney has become the most powerful VP in US history, simultaneously becoming the most influential robot in world history. Let's take a closer look: it has a malfunctioning heart and it appears not only to have a genuine distaste for humans, but also enjoys maiming them—even its own so-called friends. There is no doubt that Dick Cheney is a robot; however, it appears that the general uselessness of the vice presidency has shielded us from a robot revolution thus far. But if a robot can be elected as a vice president, it's only a matter of time before one is leading the country straight into a world of human enslavement under robot fascist rule.