Robots, the Environment, and You

So the other day I heard about this thing called global warming. Apparently, the world is ending or something. Who knew? I'll tell you who: robots. Let's take a look at the facts, shall we? The majority of carbon dioxide emissions comes directly from the burning of fossil fuels. Who has become rich from this practice? None other than their leader, Dick Cheney. Further, robots need energy (which primarily comes from carbon-emitting sources) simply to survive. I may need energy to watch "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila II," but, in theory, I could survive without. Finally, take a look at this picture. It's a robot with a flame thrower. Who's got the biggest carbon footprint? Hint: it's not Al Gore - it's your friendly neighborhood robot. Case closed.

Let's face it: for longer than we've ever thought possible, bots have been furthering the destruction of our dear planet earth. We've been so foolish not to notice it all along. And now that we can safely shift the blame for global warming away from our own actions, let's all join together and make a difference.

Burning robots and their high-tech components in a ceremonial bonfire sounds like great progress for the environment, right? Totally.