Are You Friends with a Bot?

Even freedom fighters like ourselves let our guard down from time to time: some of us put our children in the presence of poisonous robots, others unknowingly befriend them. The former often find their children kidnapped, murdered, and/or enslaved by robots. If you befriend a one, you will see similar results, except that they will happen to you. If you're friends with a bot, it's only a matter of time.

"What can I do," you say? Well, I'm glad you asked. First of all, use your common sense: if your "friend" doesn't partake in typical human behavior, they're probably a bot. Here are some things to keep in mind:

1) Bots don't have emotions, although they try to fake it; try and make them cry, if you can't, they might just be a bot.
2) Robots don't need food, but some will eat in the presence of humans to appear human—never on their own (check their refrigerators).
3) Most importantly, robots can't really feel pain; they only simulate the reaction. If someone is severely injured and seems to be taking it rather well, watch out.

If you're convinced that you have befriended a robot, immediate destruction is recommended (decapitation is best). Do not confront them; they will deny it and become violent. Before destroying a robot, you should be absolutely sure they are a bot. Apparently, you can get in a lot of trouble for an honest mistake like that.