The Bro-bot: A Primer

When on the hunt for robots, please keep an eye out for the suspicious bro-bot. These robots will at first try to be very friendly to you and welcome you with open arms, however; these are very dangerous indeed. They exhibit a strong, undying effort to "fit in" with humans, and sometimes this can make it difficult to detect them in a crowd of people. Bro-bots can be found anywhere, whether it be at a park, in a mall, or right behind you. Although they present a limited physical threat, they know exactly how to destroy your mental well-being and test your patience. I have decided to provide a checklist, so that you may distinguish a bro-bot for yourself:

• Tribal tattoos, most likely around the upper arm
• Baseball hat/visor
• A puka-shell necklace
• Usually no shirt, but look out for fitted striped dress shirts.
• Cargo Shorts (I wonder why they need all those pockets??)
• Travel in packs
• Excessive use of the words "Dude", "Bro", or "Brah"

If you find yourself in contact with one or more of these "bro-bots," you must initially stay calm. Any sudden movement will set them off, and, unfortunately, they will feed off of each other and irritate you to death. In order to escape, let them know that you have to go, and be mindful to say that you will "catch them later, bro," but feel free to use any of the above terms of endearment.

Good Luck.