Bot Ethics: An Explanation

It has come to our attention that there is still a lot of perceived ambiguity as to our actual stance on the existence of bots in a human world. Clearly our position on bots receiving any type of power over humans has been stressed but the point of this post is to clarify the role of bots in today's global economy. A simple explanation between right and wrong is now offered.

First, let's start with a few cardinal rules for integrating bots into the human world:

1. Always remember bots have no feelings or sense of self. This gives you the human right to dominate and destroy at any point necessary.
2. Under no circumstance should a bot be placed in a position of power, even over other bots; all require human management.

I have pulled a few examples of situations involving bots, some right and some horribly wrong, for further clarification...

To start off we have a Chinese farmer (left inset) who has created an army of bots created to serve (right-on!). Although with a closer look any human in their right mind would see where things have fallen into error. This man actually considers these heaps of scrap-metal his"children" and admitted to "losing sleep" over his decision to sell them to other humans! Clearly this man has forgotten that bots can never assimilate into a human family and are only meant as a material means to achieve greater wealth or luxury. Sell away old man, but don't forget to keep a few around to help you you squeeze into the new pair of $1.3 million jeans you purchased with all that money from selling bots. With a little guidance and maybe some more human relationships this farmer could stand as a great example of the right way to include bots in our everyday lives.

The shocking development of researching and utilizing Robocops, Robot Children and elderly-enhancing Robot Suits has soared to an emergent state and serves useful only as an example of the most harmful use of bot technology (click for full-size image):

One thing kept me from initiating a mission to the east in order to stop such activity and that is the overall disgust and beautiful resistance the populace is exerting. Quotes pulled from viewer comments as follows:

"Gah, that thing is trying too hard to look human and it FAILED. I want to hit it with a bat."

"Can we stay away from the robot kids. It looks like it has cancer.
creepy."

"Nuke it from orbit."

...You are not alone.

Suri Cruise: Bot or Not?

We've already discussed Katie Holmes's chillingly robotic nature, but as an alleged mother, any discussion invariably leads to one question: what about Suri? First of all, until I began researching this project (searching Google Images for the perfect picture, see left), I thought Suri was a guy baby, but pictures of him in dresses suggested otherwise; Wikipedia confirmed this (trannybots? stay tuned). I've always had reservations about the entire Cruise clan, no difference for Suri, and when I saw that searching for her on Wikipedia actually redirects to an entry called "TomKat," my suspicions were confirmed—Katie Holmes has clearly mastered the process of robot procreation. Katie Holmes most likely constructed Suri with the latest technologies, making it appear more human than ever, and certainly implemented the behaviors that can make a bot even mimic rudimentary human emotions.

Further, Suri hasn't been seen in, like, forever. With the media attention that the entire Cruise family attracts, we can safely assume that Suri has not been outside in months. Not human behavior. And finally, just look that picture: this baby has got its sh*t together. I didn't get myself to that level until this past December, so I find it hard to believe that a human being that age could really be that collected. No, something is very wrong with Suri Cruise, and, like all the problems that plague our society, robots are at the heart of this. Suri Cruise: Bot.

Welcome

Come join us in the academic discussion about the prevalence of robots in our society (or simply, "bots"), particularly those that have taken on human form. Specifically, we aim to analyze current events and determine which of our beloved public figures are bots, and which of those who are not.

If you are skeptical about the seriousness of this subject matter, I invite you to review the below video; if it doesn't send chills down your spine, you might want to ask yourself: am I Bot or Not?