Now You Know: Svedka Vodka

First of all, Svedka brand vodka has a bizarre aftertaste which permeates anything you mix it with, a taste that will be very much in your mouth throughout your guaranteed hangover. More importantly, however, Svedka is represented by a robot. A robot that looks eerily like Victoria Beckham, and a robot that, in my expert opinion, would rape you in a heartbeat if given the chance. Even if this stuff was amazing, no one should be buying it, especially you. I'd be very suspicious about anyone who chooses to drink Svedka on their own free will. Remember Tyler? On many occasions I've caught him with handles of it in his freezer. Disgusting behavior. Just remember, Svedka Vodka: for robots, by robots.

NOW YOU KNOW

B.O.L.O. - Fauxbots

As I'm sure you're aware, robot infiltration is the source of many problems in modern society. However, there are other "foes" we defenders of humanity need to fight just as hard as we fight the bots—I'm talking, of course, about fauxbots.

Fauxbots are technically human, which makes them hard to identify. Take a look at this one, who we will call "Tyler." Note the dead look behind the eyes, the pale skin, and the complete lack of any human emotion. Many fauxbots also tend to give themselves away by opting for the "fauxhawk" hairstyle. Fauxbots are, essentially, human sympathizers of the robot cause, and are therefore very dangerous. The longer a human interacts with a robot in any friendly or nonadversarial manner (as all fauxbots do on a regular basis) the less human they become. Tyler here is a highly developed fauxbot (hence so obvious), and is barely human. This is where you can get into trouble, for destroying a fauxbot would most likely get you into trouble with your local law enforcement. Report any fauxbot sightings to botornot@gmail.com.

Current Robot Threat Level: ELEVATED
BE ON THE LOOKOUT

UPDATE:
I just ran across a shocking editorial in Wired's blog, advocating the further development of robotic weapons. While the author does make some intriguing points, allow me to retort: You're a f*cking fauxbot.