Freedom Fighter of the Week: Bret Michaels

I've had my doubts about Bret Michaels before, particularly because of his weird eyes (see below). But after last night, he's proven himself to be a true freedom fighter. For any of you who missed history in the making last night, Bret was down to the final two contestants in the genre-shattering reality dating program Rock of Love II. Who was left? Daisy De La Hoya (bot) and Ambre Lake (not). Although he was surely tempted by Daisy's tellingly modified body, Bret made the right decision, choosing a human as his very own Rock of Love (spoiler alert!). Congratulations, Bret, we're totally gonna go see you on tour now and rock out.


Stay vigilant, freedom fighters! Why is it that these things always seem to be related to vh1?


UPDATE: Looks like this bot is gonna get put in its place during the Rock of Love II reunion special. Check out our EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW FOOTAGE:

Lil' Kim: Bot or Not?

This may seem like a pointless post because we all have known Lil' Kim to be a "celebribot" for quite some time now. Sure in the late '90s we all assumed she was just like any other female rapper—y'know, harmless, talentless but most importantly we thought her to be one of us (human!). Around the start of Y2K we all realized how incredibly wrong we all were...

Notice the never-ending cycle of progression and regression, changing color like a chameleon, noses like Michael, and bust size tenfold that of miss Pamela Anderson. Now, some have theories that Lil' Kim has actually just been partaking in the ever-so-normal act of "skin-bleaching" however, all of us here know that is not the case. It is simply just constantly changing its exterior shell to hide the metal within. Well its OS must be totally whack because its relentless pursuit of morphing as a means of deception has only lead freedom fighters all over the world to ban her music, explaining this bot's now defunct "music career." Now you know.
Now, this is not to say plastic surgery is a definite "go" for deeming someone/thing as a bot, but never in history has one human ever shown such a resistance to body reconstruction side effects... Even Michael's nose was seen nearly falling off at one point. The point is simple: either you go in for a lil' fix up and call it quits or your human body starts to simply dissolve into thin air. These are simple plastic surgery FACTS my friends. In conclusion, even though I feel my case is closed, I end with a simple statement, Lil' Kim: Bot or Not? You decide!