Bot Ethics: An Explanation

It has come to our attention that there is still a lot of perceived ambiguity as to our actual stance on the existence of bots in a human world. Clearly our position on bots receiving any type of power over humans has been stressed but the point of this post is to clarify the role of bots in today's global economy. A simple explanation between right and wrong is now offered.

First, let's start with a few cardinal rules for integrating bots into the human world:

1. Always remember bots have no feelings or sense of self. This gives you the human right to dominate and destroy at any point necessary.
2. Under no circumstance should a bot be placed in a position of power, even over other bots; all require human management.

I have pulled a few examples of situations involving bots, some right and some horribly wrong, for further clarification...

To start off we have a Chinese farmer (left inset) who has created an army of bots created to serve (right-on!). Although with a closer look any human in their right mind would see where things have fallen into error. This man actually considers these heaps of scrap-metal his"children" and admitted to "losing sleep" over his decision to sell them to other humans! Clearly this man has forgotten that bots can never assimilate into a human family and are only meant as a material means to achieve greater wealth or luxury. Sell away old man, but don't forget to keep a few around to help you you squeeze into the new pair of $1.3 million jeans you purchased with all that money from selling bots. With a little guidance and maybe some more human relationships this farmer could stand as a great example of the right way to include bots in our everyday lives.

The shocking development of researching and utilizing Robocops, Robot Children and elderly-enhancing Robot Suits has soared to an emergent state and serves useful only as an example of the most harmful use of bot technology (click for full-size image):

One thing kept me from initiating a mission to the east in order to stop such activity and that is the overall disgust and beautiful resistance the populace is exerting. Quotes pulled from viewer comments as follows:

"Gah, that thing is trying too hard to look human and it FAILED. I want to hit it with a bat."

"Can we stay away from the robot kids. It looks like it has cancer.
creepy."

"Nuke it from orbit."

...You are not alone.

America's Leaders: Bot or Not?

Lets start off with some easy ones. Today, we're going to take a look at some of America's most well known figures, and analyze their behaviors and appearances to determine who is bot and who is not. The results of this analysis has serious implications for Americans and the world, as the presence of robots in government would suggest higher infiltration than one might think, and grant these diabolical machines with increased access to the tools necessary to carry out a robot revolution.

George W. Bush, President of the United States

This one's almost too easy. Synonymous with the Bush presidency is the term "human error." A robot president may systematically enslave and destroy the human race, but its logical nature would most likely prevent it from, for instance, invading a sovereign state on faulty intelligence. Further, he needs an assistant to put songs on his iPod for him, which a bot would not find neccesary. And there's apparently no techno or electronic music on it, which, as everyone knows, is the only music robots can enjoy. In my expert opinion, George Bush: human.

Richard "Dick" Cheney, Vice President of the United States

Like George Bush, this one is obvious, except that it's pretty clear that Dick Cheney is a robot. It's almost as if it doesn't try to hide this fact. Cheney's cover was blown nearly four years ago, but it seems that the American people do not realize what this implies for their current and future wellbeing. Through its political maneuvering, Cheney has become the most powerful VP in US history, simultaneously becoming the most influential robot in world history. Let's take a closer look: it has a malfunctioning heart and it appears not only to have a genuine distaste for humans, but also enjoys maiming them—even its own so-called friends. There is no doubt that Dick Cheney is a robot; however, it appears that the general uselessness of the vice presidency has shielded us from a robot revolution thus far. But if a robot can be elected as a vice president, it's only a matter of time before one is leading the country straight into a world of human enslavement under robot fascist rule.