Now You Know: Axe Brand Deoderizing Products

Recently I was at the gym (hands off, ladies, there's time for that later) and I came upon a putrid stench. I recalled a similar smell from worse times, and eventually identified it as the aroma of someone who had excessively used Axe brand deodorizing spray immediately prior to coming to the gym. And who probably hadn't showered in a few days. Much like my freshman year roommate. To familiarize yourself with this product, please view the below advertisement.



What does this have to do with robots, you ask? A whole lot. People who use Axe spray do not shower. Robots can't shower, either; they'd short circuit. Therefore, robots are people who use Axe. Simple logic. Many, if not all, of these "people" you will recognize to be bro-bots.

So what have we learned today? Do not trust, or talk to, anyone who wears Axe. 1) They smell awful, and 2) they want to kill you. Get them before they get you.

NOW YOU KNOW

Now You Know: Svedka Vodka

First of all, Svedka brand vodka has a bizarre aftertaste which permeates anything you mix it with, a taste that will be very much in your mouth throughout your guaranteed hangover. More importantly, however, Svedka is represented by a robot. A robot that looks eerily like Victoria Beckham, and a robot that, in my expert opinion, would rape you in a heartbeat if given the chance. Even if this stuff was amazing, no one should be buying it, especially you. I'd be very suspicious about anyone who chooses to drink Svedka on their own free will. Remember Tyler? On many occasions I've caught him with handles of it in his freezer. Disgusting behavior. Just remember, Svedka Vodka: for robots, by robots.

NOW YOU KNOW