Japan and Robots: A Match Made in Hell

Japan indeed has a highly developed technology sector, leading the world in astounding and useful gadgets. Japan, however, is also the world leader in advancing the robot revolution. This time, they're arming their robots with lasers and training them to fight in urban battle scenes (follow the link for a video). In the name of entertainment, they're giving these bots exactly what they need to carry out a swift, simultaneous takeover of the world's urban centers. Keep your eyes on the headlines—your mayor is most likely going to have his head fried by an ASIMO sometime tomorrow.

B.O.L.O - Pittsburgh

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I've actually been there once myself. It seems like most other cities, with a pretty nice downtown surrounded by miles and miles of slums. Sure the downtown is a little dirtier and smaller, and the slums are a little dirtier and larger, but it still seems pretty normal, right? Well apparently the city is populated by bot-loving assh*les. They're seriously opening a robot exhibition in the Carnegie Science Center called "Roboworld," which will celebrate the development and portrayal of bots in modern society. Sickening. Some of their favorite bots? The murderous ASIMO and HAL 9000 from 2001 (you know, the autonomous computer that tries to kill all the humans on the spaceship for its self-preservation). Another favorite: R2-D2, which isn't really dangerous, but is just, like, the lamest part about the original Star Wars movies.

For more chilling information, visit their website.

Robot Threat Level: HIGH
BE ON THE LOOKOUT

Children and Robots: A Helpful Guide

In the past, we have alluded to the dangers of mixing children and robots, but I think it is important that we directly address the issue. We here at Bot or Not? love children, and the last thing we want to see is a generation turn into fauxbots or see on the news that a Japanese family's ASIMO is holding their children hostage. But let's face it, just like Marv said in Home Alone, kids are stupid. They won't understand the inherent inferiority of artificial intelligence, and will not treat bots with the contempt they deserve. To keep your children clean, please follow these guidelines:

1) If you employ a robot for any type of service (vacuuming, rickshaws), use their services sparingly around children.
2) If you are with your children in the presence of a robot, be sure to address it with derogatory terms ('bot, 'chine, junk).
3) Do everything in your power to demonstrate that bots' purposes are to serve humans, and strongly punish any child that treats a robot on a respectful level.

If you follow these rules, your children will grow up with healthy attitudes towards robots and surely grow to be the freedom fighters you wish them to be. If not, well, someday soon you may just see this in your backyard: